Sunday, August 07, 2016

Well, dates may have been confusing since the date and time being used is US PST, however I am literally here in Makati Philippines, servicing a US based travel agency named Travel Store.

Last Saturday is indeed a very tiring, scary, and lonely Saturday of my life. My supervisor need to pushed me to improve more on how I should handle my call, make it more conversational, make it short, make it direct to the point, make it more effective and most of all listen.

Can't handle all at once, and it indeed made me so nervous. Out of the blue I cried, because I felt being a failure and I feel so frustrated on things that I should have done which I can't done.

I heard her reactions at the back of my head. A picture of long ago bullying came back that makes me feel stupid.

Lord, please help me on this... here I go again... need to cope up on things that needed on my job. I feel so down and so helpless. I do not see any motivation at all. Maybe being in this job is not really for me but I just insisted... how about changing course and find another job which is more laid back yet underpaid...

I feel like I need someone to talk to right now, how I wished Doms is someone who will be there that I can talk to right now, who will hear me up in moments like this.

He used to be there way back then and hears me whenever I need help... but as time passed by he is no longer there.... he doesn't want to listen to me anymore, he doesn't want to listen to all of my ranting about our family.

He don't want to talk to me.... he don't want to hear anything about what troubles me...

He is not the same Doms that he used to be before....

Manong has been good enough to send me words of wisdom yet I knew he himself do have troubles and issues in life... he left his 2nd family in which he have 3 young kids... he and his 2nd wife do not talk at all at this very moment of time- for reasons which I do not know.

He does not give financial support to his 1st and 2nd family.

It is so sad to be in the shoes of the wives he has left behind.