From: Jeff Gorton
Date: Sat, Sep 24, 2016, at 8:28 AM
Subject: Re: Intro...Fellowship
To: Andrew Ramos, iStar-Tariray
Good Morning! It is sunny 39 degrees in Gardnerville, Nevada. I awake with joy this morning. Cannot say exactly why, but I am excited for the day. Thank you, Lord!
"Manong Andy" -- Star (or would you rather I called you Ezsie?) you used the term Manong Andy a couple times in your email. I googled Manong and am assuming you use it the same way I would use the term "brother" as in Brother Andy -- is that correct? I just want to make sure I understand what that is.
When I read your email, Star, a scripture came back to me that I quoted to Andy a few days ago when we were discussing you and your passion for Christ right now. It is Psalm 42:1 and it says, "As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God." I know you know English, but I want to make sure you understand the context in which the word "pant" falls. It is to breathe with short, quick breaths typically caused by exertion or excitement. You know, like we do after we run a mile or sprint a couple hundred yards. The picture I get in my head is that the deer in Psalm 42:1 is tired, exhausted, and very thirsty - even parched and the single, most prominent focus is to seek hard after water which will quench that thirst. The Hebrew word in that verse is BXR and it means, "to long after, pant after." You've longed after something or someone before, right? You've yearned for someone or something before, right? It can border on desperation. It consumes your thoughts and affects everything you do because you cannot get it off your mind and heart.
"Why," you ask, am I going off on this tangent over a simple scripture. Two reasons, Star, and both pertain to your email. First of all, I am convicted by your passion, your longing, your yearning for a stronger relationship with God The Father, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, The Trinity - ONE. A double portion. I hear it about you when Andy talks with me and I read it in your email. Ask and you shall receive, Star. We should all use you as an example of one who seeks hard after HIM. Secondly, Star, as you see above, The Holy Spirit will open The Word of God to you in ways you've never known if you continue to seek Him as you are. The revelation He gave me from Psalm 42:1 this morning is not only for you, but an example of how He wishes me to be as well. You are a shining example to us, Star.
A shining example, hmmmm - "stars" shine, are radiant. Yes, Ezsie, if you don't mind, I believe I will continue to call you Star.
In closing, I will leave you with the song that is on my heart this morning. It is "As The Deer" and is derived from Psalms 42:1. Google it and listen to it. Here are the lyrics:
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee
As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee
You're my friend
And You are my brother
Even though You are a King
I love You more than any other
So much more than anything
I want You more than gold or silver
Only You can satisfy
You alone are the real joy giver
And the apple of my eye
-----Original Message-----
From: Andrew Ramos
To: iStar-Tariray
Cc: Jeff Gorton
Sent: Fri, Sep 23, 2016 6:23 pm
Subject: Re: Intro...Fellowship
Hahaha! “Black pepper” huh? Only could from the Lord himself because as I pondered on that little black seed He started to reveal something--we know that it can be used as a whole, ground or powder, and aroma and flavor it brings, I thought of how it’s being dried up in that hot desert sun, stored in the cold dark freezer and grinded at the time of use—He showed in that little life and process of that pepper my life, my walk and calling in Him. I can’t even say when or how long I’ve been in this “desert” nor the duration of being preserved in this ‘freezer’ (and it is not my concern and matter), and as it has pleased Him taken me out and ‘grinded’ me to bring forth an aroma and flavor to those in need. The pepper contains properties that make people sweat and also wake you up or your mind, likewise with the calling He has given.
Art Katz once said that when the Lord sent him out the function in the calling he was called to, but in the body, he was connected to or had daily fellowship with he was just another brother in the Lord so also it has been with Mr. Gorton’s family and me. This doesn’t mean we didn’t function or see it from the perspective of our callings during those times, but through the working of the Holy Spirit has made us ‘together’ like the in Antioch (Acts 13) being ‘one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.’ Thus, I believe it is this way with this fellowship.
This is what comes to mind this morning.
Andy
= = = = = =
From: iStar-Tariray
Date: Sun, Sep 25, 2016 at 4:24 AM
Subject: Re: Intro...Fellowship
To: Jeff Gorton
Cc: Andrew Ramos
Dear Mr. Gorton,
I hope my email finds you well.
I was deeply moved in spirit and indeed very happy. As I read your email I am crying, and I felt an unexplainable joy inside my heart, Sir. My apologies if I haven't responded the soonest as personal emails have been blocked in my workplace and I do not receive personal emails frequently from friends only from Manong Andy. From now on, I have something to look forward to in my inbox everyday😊😊.
For the word Manong, you are a correct sir English translation for that is a Brother or older brother in Ilocano dialect. About my name Star, it is my childhood nickname given to me by my biological father as he promised to give the heavenly bodies to my mother way back then. It's so funny that we have twinkle, moonjay, sunshine, star, apple, precious and boyc in the family. Only a few people knew me in that name, yes Sir please call me Star. My real name is Ezra Diadem, for so long Ezra has been mispronounced and prompted me not to use it.
Sir, I appreciate you taking the time in writing me this email and indeed I treasured every word was so true enveloped in it. I will continuously pray and asked the Holy Spirit to open my heart to see the spiritual understanding as I am too shallow to understand and perceive the true heavenly meanings of HIS words. There are times I felt everything has been hidden from me like there is something blocking my understanding to comprehend what Manong Andy is telling me. It got me so frustrated and envy Manong a lot about knowing the Lord. As I asked him from our previous fellowship I wanted to have a double portion of his anointing like what Elisha asked Elijah before he was taken up to heaven by chariots of fire. You guys see the Lord differently as I see and I wanted to have that gift. Manong kept on telling me that the world will persecute me and I believe I am ready for that.
I was actually wondering why Manong included me in this email as I only wanted a fellowship where I could learn like a student from a teacher. Like he will give me articles to read and let me share how I understand it then he will give his thoughts and understanding on it. Like what he got from his fellowship with you. Perhaps, he already gets tired of answering all my questions to him and made him up all night as I kept pestering him and won't stop until I get satisfied with the answer😊😊. I always prayed for Manong won't get tired of me and to have millions of patience to deal with me to the Lord. I felt different frustrations if my questions were not answered and it consumes me the entire day. I prayed for fellowship Sir, and the Lord answered me more than I asked for.
I am crying while singing the song you left for me. I have known this song since when I was starting in knowing HIM however this time it is different...
God bless you and your household even more Sir. I can't explain the excitement I have right now😊😊😊.
Star🌟
