It's been a while, there has been no chance at all that I took off my wedding ring off my finger.
Even when I gave birth to my 2nd child and the surgeon asked me to take it off- I still have it on.
I value and treasured my married life, though the past 8years of my life together with Doms is not that peaceful. I learned how to submit to my husband, and respect and honor him as the head of the family.
However, it does not go the same. I was abused verbally, trampled down, neglected, mocked, been cheated countless times yet I did not ask for the easiest way out of my freedom.
I did not give up and somehow I am hoping he would be changed and that he would learn to love me and the kids. There are times that we were happy and sometimes it's just okay and not. I stood beside him all the way of our journey together yet many are the plans inside a man's heart which we cannot fathom...
Just recently, my husband asked for his freedom. It broke my heart apart, there was not a moment I didn't cry because of the pain. It was so terrible and painful. He wanted his freedom for no apparent reason at all.
He said through his message "Nasasakal na akong masyado gusto ko nang lumaya... Kailangan ko na munang kilalanin ang sarili ko and gusto kong hanapin ang sarili ko." (I am getting too tired of this relationship and I wanted to be free... I need to know and find myself first).
Those words might sound nothing to anyone but not to me. It comes so strong and so hard and so painful to bear. He wanted his freedom and it struck me like I'm gonna die any moment. I tried to talk to him, beg for him yet it doesn't matter to him anymore. Those long years we've been together come to waste and became nothing at all. I don't want to look back and my prayer is only short...
Dear Lord Jesus,
Help me to go on with my life now that my husband asked for his freedom. Help me to forgive and hold no grudges on him as days go by.
Please forgive me if I put him or my family as my priority for the last 9 years over YOU. I know YOU are the author of life and the head of a family yet YOU should still be my top priority. Please Lord forgive me and bring me back the joy of my salvation and renew a right spirit within me. Create in me a clean heart oh, God!
I'm praying Lord not to be back in my husband's arms if this means to be loss of YOU. Return to me my intimacy to you like what I have before. You are my 1st love Lord help me to bring back what has been lost between us.
Heal the brokenhearted me Lord, take this sadness and depression, and anger from me. Made me whole again dear Lord that I may still be an effective mother to my children, a sister to my siblings, a daughter to my mother, a friend, and somebody that YOU still wanted me to be.
I asked, pray and beg YOU on this.
Hear the prayer of my anguished heart and I claim this in the mighty name of your son Jesus.
Amen.
#NoMore,
#WeddingRing,
#ILoveYou,
#Freedom,
#istariray23moments,
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